Relationship jokes

Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!

*walks into sex shop*

Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

What do you call lesbians having sex?

My cheating dyke ex-wife!

My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.

Q: Why can't orphans be gay?

A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."

Why can’t an emo have sex?

They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

What color is Sonic's ball?

Blue because he keeps getting rejected.

"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

You and Jason in your bed.

I pregnoot.

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"

Gwen pegs Xavier.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Boy and girl.

Boys af sex wus ur girl?