Relationship jokes
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
I pregnoot.
You and Jason in your bed.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?