Relationship jokes

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

Your dad is gone.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.