Relationship

Relationship jokes

Girlfriend

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Mom

Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Me: (quiet)

Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.

Memes

Nut

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

Privacy

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Orphan

Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."

Wife

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

Wheelchair

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

Daughter

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

Orphan

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

Rope

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.