Relationship jokes
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
Gwen pegs Xzavier.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).