Relationship jokes
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.