Relationship jokes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Memes
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
Penis ➕ ➕ ➕ 🕳
inside 🚹 🚹 restroom
equals 😋 🍌 🍌 🍌 inside
glory 🕳
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."