My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Relationship Jokes
I don't want to date an alien.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
