Relationship jokes
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
I love pussy.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Your dad is gone.