Relationship jokes
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
My friends.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭