like if u wana hve sex
I guess age is just a number but in your boyfriends case a personal preference.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
Man:Can You be my girlfriend? Woman:Im Lesbian, Sorry Man:Oh, Heres your rope
rape isn't a joke. it's a type of way of making friends, and to mate with other women. it's a way of art, and works on anybody! like this if you agree.
How do men like their women? Striped
How does priest like their children? Clean
Why are most orphans strippers? they want to call someone mommy or daddy
What is the difference between stripper and candy? none. but they like it when you take the wrapper off
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? -- Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
What did Steven Hawkins wife say to him having sex ? Your wheelie good at this
How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
if u were a vegetable u would be a cute-cumber
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
what is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut? they are always so distant:-]
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest, after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
