What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Relationship Jokes
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
