i hate it when ever i bring a girl over my parents don't care but when i bring one of my friends thats a boy there like KeEp ThE DoOr OpEn and im gay
i want coffee like my men
Dark
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
DH: I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Dark..Humor :)
if my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship i would never be able to play my phone
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
I look at my gf’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can
Like it’s my next meal
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.
I heard you were looking for a stud... I already have the STD, all I need is u.
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, NO MORE!
I finally got a girlfriend. Her name is Remington Model 32
Q: What happens when emo's make out?
A: They don't they just hang out
Roses are red, violets are blue, i'd rather be single then be with someone like you.
Gf:Hi
Bf:Hi
Gf:did you eat yet
bf:did you eat yet?
Gf:are you copying me?
Bf:are you coping me??
Gf:i love you
Bf:yeah i ate already
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks "did you get her number?". He replies "no, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion"
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?
B : They're both hot?
A : They're both massive.
