Relationship jokes

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

"Uwu daddy."

What's one plus one?

Yo mama.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Two sticks only make a fire.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

Why do orphans have sex?

To call someone "daddy"!

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

"Prince, do you love the faker, Princess, or me, the real Gwen?"

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

You're more uglier.

Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!