Relationship jokes
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
I sit because I can't stand you.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!