Relationship jokes
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.