My girl freind called me a cock sucker but HEY 20 dollars is 20 dollars
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant. Dad: well is she already part of the family? Son: Yes, why? Dad: then there’s no need to be worried.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’ I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
My girl friend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl she said I was cheating but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldnt stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair
my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral
Neither of them respect boundaries.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
My wife says s*x is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real
Why does sisters have to be in a relationship because you don’t have to worry about your car
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter
My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romnticising their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.. Then you know they're faking depression🙂
If you know it, you know it
