Relationship jokes
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Bro smash or pass check?
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
I love my dog, Sadie.
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.