Relationship jokes
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Memes
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."