Relationship jokes

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Why is my dad gone?

I don't know.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Why can’t orphans date?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't call them "daddy."

My wife left me and took the kids.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."