Relationship jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."