Relationship jokes

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

I have a secret crush on your momma.

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.

What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?

A family portrait.

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Some dude: Water you thinking?

Me: You're drowning in my head.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!