Relationship jokes
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Willy Wonka meme
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.