Relationship jokes

"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"

What are twins’ favorite fruit?

Pairs 🍐.

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.