Relationship jokes
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.