Relationship jokes
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Yo' mama is a joke.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
My wife left me and took the kids.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."