Relationship jokes

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.

Yo mom!

Why do orphans want to be gay?

So they have someone to call "Daddy."

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Who did the bee 🐝 marry?

Her honey!

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.