Relationship jokes

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

My wife left me and took the kids.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't call them "daddy."

Yo' mama is a joke.

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!