Relationship jokes

Yo' mama is a joke.

My wife left me and took the kids.

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

How do you know if your wife is dead?

Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.