Relationship

Relationship jokes

Kid

    • I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

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    • Popcorn

    • "Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

    "HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

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    • Dad

    • My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

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    • Relationship memes

    Girlfriend

    • My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

    🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

    🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

    🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

    Story done. Please like.

    Dog

    • I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

    Advice

    • Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

    Marshmallow

    • Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.