Relationship jokes

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't call them "daddy."

My wife left me and took the kids.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

How do you know if your wife is dead?

Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.