Relationship jokes

Why can't orphans do it?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊

Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?

A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

What did the dick say to the asshole?

You need another dick.

What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?

Lesbionage.

My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.