Relationship jokes
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
#takemebacksophie
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.