Relationship jokes

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

I have a girlfriend.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

His wife changed the WiFi password.

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

What's an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!

#takemebacksophie

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

Why is my dick like a balloon?

The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.