Blue Jokes

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!

Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

Why did the sea cry?

Because it felt salty and blue.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?

A: Blue cheese.

Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Once I'm done choking you,

You will be too.

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."

Gf: "I luv u too."

Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."

Gf: "Ah, about that..."

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!