Blue Jokes


Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F—ing blue!

Kenny E
in Puns

Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.


The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.


roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i’m always watching you

Daniel King
in Fruit

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blue-berry.

Vuck u

I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom… Until they are flashing behind you!

in Bad

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.

in Puns

Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

OT7 Bangtan
in Stupid jokes

what’s blue and doesn’t weigh much???

Light blue.


in Cow

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf??

A:Blue Cheese

miss killer

what turns red, blue then white? the last person that I’d strangle

in Roast

roses are red. Violets are blue. When i taking out trash i remember you


Roses are red Violets are blue Once I’n done choking you You will be too.

Anne Montague, Rosiebud
in Rose

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue. What does this tell us ’cept you can’t trust a poet to tell the truth.


A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said “I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we’re there, I’d also like to take our relationship to the next level.” “I’m there” the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked “do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?” the boy replied " “I plan on getting busy all weekend. I’m not gonna stop pounding her till I’m black and blue. Give me the family pack.” “Sure thing” said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, “you never told me that you were so religious” the boy replied, “You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist”


roses are red, violates are blue, i don’t know why i am still alive for you


Roses are red Violets are blue, I’d get in the van if I where you…

in Roast

roses are red violets are blue shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you


Bf:roses are red violets are blue ur my bf and i luv you

Gf:i luv u too

Bf:but the roses are wilting the violets are dead i heard you were cheating ill knock off ur head

Gf:ah about that