Blue jokes
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Once I'm done choking you,
You will be too.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Uranus is blue from lack of service.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!