Relationship jokes

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them!

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

Why is my dick like a balloon?

The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.

Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

#takemebacksophie

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!