Relationship jokes

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.

Person:

Guy: You walk into a bar.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You meet a girl.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You guys go on a bed.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: She whispers into your ear...

Person: I'm a man!

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?

Not all are friends.

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?

Terra hasn't forgiven him.

Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.

I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.