Relationship jokes

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

I have a girlfriend.

What's an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?

Terra hasn't forgiven him.

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.