Relationship jokes

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?

The cowgirl.