Relationship jokes
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
What did the first guy say to the second? Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"