Relationship jokes
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.