Relationship jokes

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Yo mama!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?

“You got nice buns!”

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”