Relationship jokes

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Do you love me?

No, Papa.

#### you!

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

Yo mama!

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

What’s worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles.