Relationship jokes
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?
They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!