Relationship jokes

I don't know, I don't have one.

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

What did the orphan say to his stepmom?

"I need help."

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.

What does an orphan call a family picture?

Answer: a selfie.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.

Mineta: Go on.

Denki: Uraraka's booty.

Mineta: I don't get it.

Denki: Exactly.

Mineta: ^cries T_T^

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.