Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Relationship Jokes
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
My dad is nice!
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Your nan.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
