Relationship jokes
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
#Season 3
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?