I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Relationship Jokes
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
