Relationship jokes
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?