Puns
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.