Puns
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
My dignity to live.
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.