Puns

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Why don't some people like pennies?

Because it's common cents.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

My life.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?

Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!

I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁

Why did the child cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.