Puns

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?

Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.

Ur dad lesbian.

Ur sister a mister.

Ur family tree LGBT.

Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.

Why did the child cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.

Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

The earth is not round.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.