Puns
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
My dignity to live.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Why tie when you can knot?
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.