Puns

Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?

A. A Notsee.

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

What do you call a banana that can dance?

CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

What’s a booty’s favorite game?

Hide and cheek.

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.