Puns

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh? Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

Hey, pass me that crow bar please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home

(credit to Ryan Lombard (I think that’s his name) from YouTube shorts, I loved this dad joke/pun)

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

What do you call a banana that can dance? CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

President Joesph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to, Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Deleware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place oh well that's politics

What’s a booty’s favorite game?

Hide and CHEEK

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always STICK TOGETHER

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.