Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Niall Devine, clown.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok π
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
