Profession jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
Tell who we are.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.