Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Niall Devine, clown.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
What was the name of a Roman guide?
Guide Gius.
