Profession jokes
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Niall Devine, clown.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?