Profession jokes
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK