How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Preference Jokes
Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
