Preference

Preference jokes

Diarrhea

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

Depression

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ‘

Tea

I like my people how I like my tea...

In a bag under water.

Lesbian

Daughter: Dad.

Dad: Yes honey?

Daughter: I'm lesbian.

Dad: Ok.

Daughter 2: Dad.

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.

Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?

Son: I do...

Man

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Memes

Circumcision

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

Women

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.

  • 8
  • Women

    I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.

  • 2
  • Mother

    Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

    Liam: I like you both.

    Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

    Liam: I will go to paris.

    Mother: That's means you like dad more.

    Liam: No, its because i like paris.

    Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

    Liam: I will go to America.

    Mother: Why?

    Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

  • 9
  • Man

    How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

    Broccoli

    Broccoli is like anal sex.

    If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

  • 9
  • Dick

    I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

    As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

    Anal Sex

    How is spinach like anal sex?

    If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

  • 1
  • Vegetarian

    Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

    They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

    Banana

    Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    This is partially due to the fact that most humans donโ€™t like the taste of monkey.

    Marriage

    Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

    Son: A ugly girl.

    Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

    Son: A pretty one might run away.

    Dad: So an ugly one might too.

    Son: Yeah, but who cares?

    Food

    Men: "I like dogs."

    Women: "I like cats."

    Chinese: "Food is food."