Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
