Preference jokes

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍

I like my people how I like my tea...

In a bag under water.

Daughter: Dad.

Dad: Yes honey?

Daughter: I'm lesbian.

Dad: Ok.

Daughter 2: Dad.

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.

Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?

Son: I do...

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

I like my women like my cigars: smuggled in from Cuba in a sack.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Broccoli is like anal sex.

If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

Son: A ugly girl.

Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

Son: A pretty one might run away.

Dad: So an ugly one might too.

Son: Yeah, but who cares?

What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.