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Favorite Jokes

Missing child

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

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  • Pirate

    What is a pirate's favorite letter?

    You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

    I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

    What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

    Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

    What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

    Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

    What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

    Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

    Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

    Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

    Suicide

    What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

    Depresso espresso.

    Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

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  • Emo

    What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?

    The Final Cut.

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