Politics jokes
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
"Let's go Brandon!"
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.