Politics jokes
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Trump's mom.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.