Politics jokes
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Trump's mom.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.