Politics jokes
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Trump's mom.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.