Politics jokes
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
"Sharing is communism."