Politics jokes
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
I'm glad.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"