Pickup jokes
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.