Pickup

Pickup jokes

Basketball Game

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

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  • Orphan

    Why can an orphan never get picked up?

    Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

    Memes

    Girl

    Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

    Grave

    Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

    *Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

    Orphan

    Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

    Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

    Marshmallow

    This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

    Fist

    Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

    Hell

    This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

    Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

    Van

    Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

    Ticket

    Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

    Wine

    You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

    Nickel

    If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.