Pickup jokes
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 馃槒
What鈥檚 Queen Elizabeth鈥檚 pickup line?
You鈥檙e breathtaking!
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 馃ケ馃ス馃ズ
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I鈥檓 trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I鈥檇 spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I鈥檇 love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren鈥檛.
I鈥檓 not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 gotten into me lately, but I hope it鈥檚 you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I鈥檒l bomb what鈥檚 in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you鈥檙e on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I鈥檓 so jealous of your heart right now because it鈥檚 pounding inside of you and I鈥檓 not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Why do y鈥檃ll call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I鈥檇 still only have five cents.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you鈥檙e on top of me.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!