Pickup jokes

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.

Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?

Why?

'Cause I’m digging that ass.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?

"You're breathtaking."

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Charger: Yo, Phone.

Phone: Yeah?

Charger: Can I plug all in you?

Phone: Ayooo!

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.