Pickup jokes
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.
Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.