Pickup jokes

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

Why do y’all call a pickup truck?

'Cause ya got a flat tire.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."

The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."

The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!