Pickup jokes

I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.

Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.

Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?

You’re breathtaking!

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."