Pickup jokes

All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.

I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.

Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?

"You're breathtaking."

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.

Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.

Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.

Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.

Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.

Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.

Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.

I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.

Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.

Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.

Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.

Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.

Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.

Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.

Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.

Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.

Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.

I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.

Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.

Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!