Perception jokes
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
Purple.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.