Perception jokes
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.
"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.
Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.