Perception jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
An autistic man walks into a bra.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."