Cognition jokes

Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.

And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.

Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?

What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

How do you spell "cognitive mess?"

J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

What do you call a retard?

"Kahin."

Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!

What do you call a retarded Catholic?

Asperges.

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.

What do you call a retarded fruit?

Mentally in-pear-ed.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?

It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.

Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's?

You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."