Perception jokes

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

Why does everyone call me racist?

My shadow is black.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?

"This is a nice reflection!"

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.

Why can't people understand these jokes?

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Who is the blindest person in the world?

Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.