Perception jokes
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
You want an insult? Right, look at the mirror.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
I looked in the mirror.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.