Awareness jokes
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
Why is Black History Month the shortest month of the year?
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.