I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
Don't criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs Simply because they look up to me
The optimist think the glass is half full The pessimist think the glass is half empty The feminist think the glass is raping them
People complain we are over- populated. Well then if we committed suicide then why do they be sad. It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad peoples?
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder. Midget: Hey! What’s up? Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors? Because you can’t look up to them
a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life. I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward. Well, let just say that I see his point.
An optimist says, "the glass is half full." A pessimist says, "the glass if half empty." A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air." Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water."
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing. The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor. In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
