Perspective jokes

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

My favorite joke is my life.

The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.