Interpretation jokes

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?

Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."

I shot her, now we wait.

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.