Perception jokes

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.

What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?

Nothing.

Dark jokes are just like water.

Not everybody gets it.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Guess who I saw at school today?

Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.