Perception jokes

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.

What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?

Nothing.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Dark jokes are just like water.

Not everybody gets it.

If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Guess who I saw at school today?

Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.