Purple Jokes

Anonymous

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F---ing blue!

5
Cut
in Depression

What's both red, white and sometimes purple My arms...

2
Daniel King
in Grape

What is purple and wines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

Anonymous

'Who was purple and wanted to rule the world? Alexander the Grape.'

Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are Purple, not fucking blue.

Anonymous

I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

Anonymous
in Priest

what terns green purple and white? A chameleon

Anonymous
in Grape

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe... Breathe...

in Wine Taster

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."

KK

I like you you like me let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun Barney’s on the floor no more purple dinosaur 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Anonymous
in Burning

you look like barney i´m choking you too and your face is turning all purple and blue

MinnieHAHA

What did the the purple grape say to the green grape? "BREATH YOU IDIOT BREATH!" Geddit? GeeditTT?

Lisa konie

Y did the csi team have to go to the purple rain shoot? ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤bc they had to dust for prince hahaha

Dave T
in Helen

Why were her hands purple? She Heard it Through the Grapevine

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.

Anonymous
in Bullying

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said,"Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?". After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Lovely perv

Roses are red violets are purple lay in my bed so I can suck you’re nurple.

Daniel King
in Grape

What is purple, small , and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇