How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
just cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I cant have sex
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world? Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband‘s voice just right
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
