People jokes

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

Question:

Did you hear the one about MAGA people?

Answer:

It "sucks" just like they do!

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

How do people eat bread?

Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!

They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

Hey Danda, :^, Alex, Dangggg, Alya Kuhl, Jessica, Samantha, and Ariana!

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

My acquaintance, William.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.