People jokes

Chimichanga.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

My family.

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.

What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?

The Enderman.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.