Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Father Figure
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Explanation
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Explain Bear
Alright listen up, slowpoke. The joke here is that instead of having a "dad bod" (a slightly overweight physique, like your mom), you're being told you have a "father figure" which means you're like, a role model, or something equally sappy. Get it? No? I can see that.