People jokes

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Why can't people understand these jokes?

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

Why do y’all do this?

Because you're lonely.

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t.

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!

Chimichanga.

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.