People jokes

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

How do people eat bread?

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

What do you call an emo's face?

Elmo's son.

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.