People jokes
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.